Three Spheres of Our Lives
Let's talk existential questions, shall we? The most important question you face in your life, the one that will determine answers to all others, is:
How do I construct a good life?
I don't have the answer. It's a work in progress, because a good life may be different for me than you. No one has the answer.
But there are answers. And there are answers with universal truth, and answers that will lead to suffering.
I think of life as falling into three main spheres. Each of the spheres requires focused effort to maintain and improve it. And each sphere is critically important to have a good life. There is push and pull between improvement in one area and decline in another. Different chapters will see improvements and declines in spheres. The key is to find ways of improving multiple aspects of your life simultaneously since time and energy is finite.
That's how it goes. The trick is to improve each steadily over time. If you can do that, you'll have a good life. If not, you'll struggle.
The three spheres are health, wealth, and meaning.
Health: mental, physical, and spiritual health. Our bodies and minds are deeply connected. Then there's the "other": the spiritual aspect of our lives. It doesn't require religion or God, but rather a seeking of the true nature of reality, ourselves, and what connects us to the world and others. Focusing on one aspect of your health won't work.
Wealth: having enough financial, social, and family support to thrive in life. This isn't about having a lot of money. It's being wealthy in the areas of life that matter: having (and giving) an abundance security and support in particular.
Meaning: work, accomplishment, growth, giving, joy, motivation. This may feel like a catch-all category, but meaning is the thread that propels us in each of these critical areas, which contribute to other spheres. Without work, we can't have wealth. Without accomplishment, our mental health suffers. Without growth, we stagnate and our friends and family grow beyond us. And without joy, life becomes repetitive and boring — like my fashion choices.
Notice that having too much in any category will rob you of focus in other categories. Having too much financial wealth may rob you of spirituality, connection, or family.
Giving is critically important. Charity, yes, but the more mundane giving of parts of yourself to others. Saying yes when someone asks for help. Spending an extra minute with someone in need. Lending your emotional support when your friend is down. It's a source of meaning, joy, and social and family wealth. Like all other categories, you can give too much of yourself, so it must be done in moderation.
Time and attention are the inputs you have to change each sphere. Spend them wisely, and change how you're spending them if you're not satisfied with the outcomes. Guard your attention closely.
And keep in mind: your life is always changing, because the world and the people around you are changing. Whatever balance you find between the spheres today may get thrown off.
It's a work in progress.